Breaking out of the Cocoon
by Vituperat
Summary: Lily Evans's time at Hogwarts is ending, but her life has just begun. This is the story of her and her fellow seventh years' transition into adulthood. [Formerly known as a Girl Can Gloom]
1. Rainy Days

_This chapter is dedicated to Katy, who thought it would be a good idea to call this story,' Lily the Loner Walks Alone.' Since this was said in a French lesson, I'm not too sure she can be taken seriously._

(**A/N**: Since this is the first chapter of my first work it would be greatly appreciated if you would send the time to review. Thank you!)

**Disclaimer:** As you all should be aware, I do not own any of the characters mentioned in the Harry Potter books, although this story is mine.

CHAPTER ONE-

**Rainy Days**

It was going to be a bad day. Everything told her this. From the way the rain trickled down the window of the bus taking her to Kings Cross Station, to the way the clouds were arranged in the dreary sky. She was tired and she knew it. The rest of the bus did too, judging by the way the passengers were looking at her. She didn't really care though. Being stared at had become a regular occurrence for her. She sighed internally, her features turning more serious and composed. The way a Head Girl was supposed to be, she thought, eyebrows folding to meet.

She pondered on why Dumbledore had chosen her for such a position. Throughout her life at Hogwarts, she had seen six different Head Girls; each one had something to distinguish them from every other girl in their house, in their year. Not her though. She was ordinary, but in a year group filled with interesting and exciting people, ordinary wasn't good enough. She looked outside and saw the bus was nearing the station. She prepared to take her rather large, tattered trunk off the bus and onto a trolley used to carry large objects in train stations. She groaned, looking at the size of the space between the platforms, where you could buy food and newspapers from the various shops.

She ambled to platforms 9 and 10 without much fuss. She would have said,' I'm not completely brain dead,' if her mother had even thought about asking such a question. It was only when she went passed the barrier that she realised how loud the people in her year could be.

'Hey! How were your holidays? I went to France…'

'I really like your new haircut! Guess who asked me out last week…'

'EVANS! I've come to, to err…well to apologize!'

She was on the verge of strangling the throat from which that voice came. She overcame her impulse and turned around slowly, trying to show as little expression as possible. 'You called?' she said, vaguely bored.

'Yes, well I was wondering, since we are in the same boat last year I was wondering if we could bury the hatchet. For the school's sake,' there was a sincere quality in his voice that was more refined than his usual whines, Lily thought to herself.

'In the same boat! Has there ever been a time when we have been in the same boat as each other? What do you mean,' bury the hatchet for the school's sake?' Lily asked every one of those questions as if she had someone say the most preposterous thing in the world.

'Well, since we are Head Boy and Girl, I thought it would be a good idea for us to try to be a bit less… antagonistic.'

'Wait a minute. I think I just heard you say that you are Head Boy.'

'Yes, your ears did not deceive you. Do you have a problem with that? If so you can lodge a complaint to Dumbledore. I don't see why you didn't know. Didn't you receive a note from McGonagall, telling who would be your fellow Head Student?' James's faces slid easily into a half-smile, silently amused at Lily's surprise.

'No,' she confessed rather sheepishly.' I suppose I was so excited about being awarded the position, I didn't check if there was anything attached.'

'Hmmm, well if I were you, I'd be more organized this year. The role of Head Girl is a very responsible one, I'm sure you will live up to it,' replied James, in a singsong voice, with a look that was very much like one of McGonagall's.' Anyway, we'd best be off. We've got a meeting to attend to, as well as chair it.'

'Yes, we should get going,' she mumbled, not completely sure why this felt so weird. She supposed it was the fact that she was not completely on the ball, whereas James seemed to be taking it all in his stride. She was right. She just wasn't suited for the role of Head Girl, although she wasn't going to let James, who was almost marching to the Head's Compartment, know that.


	2. Conversations and Confrontations

Breaking Out of the Cocoon

Chapter 2: Conversations and Confrontations 

_This chapter's song is 'Feeling Good' by Muse _

"I was expecting you but obviously the feeling isn't mutual eh, Lily?" James said, loudly enough t break the other person in the compartment's reverie.

"What? Oh, yes, sorry. So you were told then? 'Bout me being Head Girl?" Lily still seemed slightly dazed.

"Got a note from McGonagall, didn't you?"

"Probably, though since my Mum and Dad were jumping up and down, we might have lost it," Lily answered truthfully.

"Aha! Well make sure you don't go losing things this year. Like notes. Do not lose your notes," he added in a would-be gruff, domineering voice, if it were not for the fact his face was drawn up in a lightly teasing smile.

"Or friends," Lily sighed. "Do not lose your friends."

James took a moment for the words to fully penetrate him, after which he blinked and moved forward in his seat.

"Didn't you know? My, my not up to your usual Marauder standard; you really must try harder. If you must know, I had a major-minor disagreement with a certain seventh-year Gryffindor female, which left me feeling quite alone, open at the hands of my wretched sister and helpless parents."

"_Major-minor_? That's new. Where did you get that one from?"

"You know how something is important to you, but no one else seems to care? That's major-minor"

"You're strange, you know that?"

"That's me; I'm not one of those new amateurs you see, trying to be oh-so smart when really people are laughing at them, rather than with."

"You're not talking about me are you?" James tried to feign incredulousness.

"No, it's more Sirius and Peter _I'm_ worried about," Lily replied in a stage whisper.

"Right then we'd better wait for the Prefects to come along, I suppose."

Lily nodded in agreement and they both waited in companionable silence for the other members of the meeting to enter the Head's Compartment. It did not take long for the sixth years to arrive, though most of the stragglers were the newly-appointed fifth years.

"Welcome, both I and the Head Boy, James, would like to congratulate all the new Prefects on being awarded such an important position and hope you enjoy your fifth year. We would like to clarify any points that need addressing and there will be questions at the end," for an opening speech, Lily thought she did quite well. She remembered the daydreams she had been having for the past week, with her, extremely inarticulate and being laughed at by all the prefects, even the new fifth years.

"Yes," James called, adopting a voice that was more mature than usual." I'm coming round with a rota for duties during the year, so if you have any problems contact either myself or Lily as soon as possible to make an amendment. Now that's been sorted out, onto the more interesting issues. Are there any suggestions as to any sort of things to be held this year?"

"Err yes," Charlie Coulter, one of the new Hufflepuff Prefects, sounded mush more timid than usual. "I was wondering, could it be possible to organize some more clubs and societies? All we've got at the moment are the Quidditch teams." His brown eyes seemed slightly worried, as though he thought he did not yet have the authority to ask of something directly. He was relieved when he heard the hearty agreements of most of the others.

"Yes, that's a good idea, although it will need a lot of cooperation and organization from everyone," as Lily said this she noticed James's eyes flicker quickly to the Slytherins. He had good reason to, as it seemed Snape was on the verge of one of his infamous combination of him curling his lip and a comment said with a pronounced sneer.

"Of course you would say that wouldn't you, Evans? Then again, I suppose _Mudbloods_ like you have to stick up for each other. No one else will."

"Snape, yet again you seem to have landed yourself in trouble due to your extremely selective memory. It is _not_ acceptable for you to say such things, especially during term-time," James's loud, clear call sounded as though the black-haired Slytherin's comments were not the only part of Snape's character he found unacceptable.

"Ah, I was waiting for this, Potter. You may be good at Quidditch, but your power on the ground is very low," Snape let out a mixture between a growl and a hiss; his features become more hawk-like.

"If this is your idea of cooperation, Snape, I suggest you use a dictionary," Lily's voice came sharper than she felt, knowing that in part, Snape was right. 'Since nobody appears to have anything _useful_ to add, I think we'll call this meeting to an end. Thank you.'

It had not been the best of starts to the new school year for Lily, nor was it the worst. She felt that she could have improved parts of the day, especially the morning, though it was a sensation she often experienced. She was not what she would call a perfectionist, although if she knew she could do something much better than how she had done it, she made sure everyone around her knew too. Today she had no one to grumble to, as she had just left the Great Hall after eating and was taking out some of her books. After flipping through a Charms book, something she would not be able to do at home when Petunia was prowling outside her bedroom, Lily suddenly remembered that she had some patrolling of her own to do. She left her books scattered on her bed and climbed up a staircase, missing the false step, to reach the floor above her dormitory. It was not long when she heard an all too familiar voice.

"I don't know what you think you can or can't do _Lupin_, but I assure this year both you and your pathetic little friends are going tohave a taste of your own medicine. I daresay you have experience in that, you filthy little half-breed," not for the first time in her life, Lily was regretting standing up for Snape that day in their fifth year. If this was the sort of treatment Remus Lupin, her fellow seventh year Gryffindor, was receiving she understood why two of his best friends had such a grudge against Snape.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Remus replied, his voice very close to wavering uncontrollably. "We agreed with Dumbledore to let this drop. We all did. You included." Lily was surprised at that last comment; she had not realised that the animosity was so great that Dumbledore had to be involved.

"It's strange: I'm always just that stupid, greasy Slytherin object of your 'jokes' as you like to put it, but once I know your stupid little secret of yours we have to let it drop. There's true Gryffindor bravery for you. You're about as brave as a piece of chicken shit"

"Whereas you need a bunch of Dark Arts obsessed freaks so that you can make yourself feel good' Lily stepped forward, not wanting Remus to have to deal with the Slytherin alone. "I don't know what this is about but I have some very good advice for you: go away." Lily brandished her wand in a menacing way, which meant Snape feel obliged to leave, although not quietly,

"Isn't it strange that you always seem to have someone rushing to fight your battles for you? First, Potter and Black and now Evans. Who next: _Pettigrew_?"

Lily let Snape pass by her, watching him walk off, muttering darkly. She turned to face Remus. "When I said I don't know what's going on I meant it, but I'm not going to ask. Not yet anyway. We can always talk about that later. You really need to go to bed; so do I."

Remus blinked a few times before replying, giving time for Lily to survey him. The collar to his shirt was scrunched and his light brown hair was uncharacteristically messy and bore resemblance to the head of James Potter. "I'm really grateful Lily. For a second there I was worried it was going to be Crouch or another Slytherin. Thank you for not asking just yet, I don't think I have enough energy at the moment. Sometimes I think it's only Sirius, James and Peter who actually cares about me but you proved me wrong so thank you. This probably isn't the best first day back from the holidays you've had is it? Sorry about that"

"There's no need to be so apologetic or grateful you know. I was just trying to be of help. I don't see what you've got be so sorry about either. It's not your fault an extremely annoying Slytherin decided to confront you today, so don't be so hard on yourself. You're starting to sound like me."

"You don't seem to be one a dark, reflective type of person to me. Maybe it's just major-minor." Remus said the last sentence with a smile, if a fairly small one.

"So you heard about that did you?"

"Yes, James seemed to think it was very funny."

"It's nice to think someone finds me amusing."

"At least two of your best friends aren't two of funniest and cleverest at this school."

"If we're going to play 'who has the worst life' I'm sure I'll win. I have one of the most obnoxious sisters _anyone_ could have. I'm not just saying that."

"At least your problem doesn't affect you at school too," Remus muttered, although his words unheard by anyone in his dormitory, all of whom were asleep.


	3. Group Dynamics

Chapter Three –Group Dynamics

_This chapter's song is 'Meantime' by the Futureheads _

Although Lily had not forgotten the events of the previous night, she had not been expecting to be tapped on the shoulder by Sirius Black. He sat next to her and began to eat some bacon casually. Eventually, he spoke.

"I heard about what you did last night and I'd just like to say thank you. I know you never really, well…respected me or James but it is nice to know that you'll stick up for Remus at least."

Lily sighed, glanced up into Sirius's face and started blankly at her plate. "It's not that I don't respect you, it's more the things you do to some people. Nearly everyone in this room agrees that Snape's a nasty piece of work, but it doesn't mean you have to try to hex him into the next century. It just makes him bitterer. I guess it's like tickling a sleeping dragon." They both smiled at her last comment, then sat began to eat in silence for a few minutes.

"As to your detective work about Remus," Sirius said, getting up. "I wouldn't try it if I were you. You're best off not knowing," and with that, he left, leaving Lily eating her breakfast alone. She sat there for a while, thinking about hardly anything in a lethargic manner. Without fully acknowledging where it had come from, Lily found a timetable in front of her. Her first lesson was Defence Against the Dark Arts, a subject she found quite interesting.

Lily found herself in the correct classroom, taking a seat next to Peter Pettigrew. They were revising the Patronus Charm, extremely important since Lord Voldemort's ever-increasing army contained Dementors. Lily found it hard to think of a thought that could produce more than just a silvery wisp. Suddenly it struck her. The letter she had received telling her she was a witch! She had not believed it at first, but when a messenger had come to explain to her and her parents that it was not a hoax, she was overjoyed. She concentrated and a silver butterfly came out of her wand. She looked around the class and saw the others producing their Patronuses; most were animals but James's was a nose-biting teacup. Before Lily had time to ponder where his peculiar Patronus came from, the bell rang. Homework 'a two feet on the history, technique and use of the Patronus charm,' was set. The class suddenly realised they had entered the infamous NEWT year.

… …

The rest of the morning's lessons had passed uneventfully; in Charms they had mastered a complex spell, which meant another long essay. Mutterings of discontent from the seventh years could be heard on all four House tables that lunchtime.

Lily did not really mind. In fact, she had been feeling quite apathetic all day, although she was not sure why. She knew it was not because term had just started, as last year she was full of optimism compared to her rather jaded state. It was only when James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, all looking quite exercised, entered the Hall that she realised what was bothering her. She was lonely. She was about to pick up some more food off her plate when she saw that there was none left. She then hurried up to Gryffindor Tower, muttered the password 'trinket' to the Fat Lady and walked up the stairs to the seventh year girl's dormitory, all the while trying to remain casual.

"Lily! There you are. You've been wandering about in that dreamy state of yours," a girl with shoulder-length warm brown hair of average height was staring at Lily, smiling good-naturedly.

"Oh! Hello Sarah. Sorry about this morning, I was just getting settled. So, how was your holiday…" the two girls had the conversation they should have had the previous night that lunchtime, neither of them talking about anything important or vaguely interesting. It was as if they had met for the first time in ten years. Although it was nothing very obvious, Lily could tell that Sarah Edgecombe, her friend from second year had changed slightly during the summer months, in the same way Lily herself had. Light jokes were made and laughter sounded, more out of friendliness than humour. Both girls were inwardly relieved when Sarah said she had to meet someone in the Library, a story neither of them believed.

… …

The first week back from what Lily realised would be her last summer holiday passed quickly, which was exactly what Lily had wanted. She had attended all her lessons, yet felt detached from the class. Her essays, while sound lacked some of the originality that had given her good grades in the past. She had had many conversations, the most fruitful she could remember was discussing with James what sort of clubs they should start. He had left her, most probably to join his friends, leaving her next to the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room to contemplate the four most prominent boys in her year.

They were one body and yet so different; four chambers to the same heart. Sirius had a sort of worldliness about him James tried to emulate and Peter wondered about. Remus's subtle, teasing jokes were a contrast to James's outlandish humour. Peter's willingness to be loyal opposed Sirius's general wariness to trust and yet there they were, unflinchingly themselves, whether they were together or apart. Rather than envy them, Lily smiled wistfully thinking about it. Their friendship was not meant to impress; it was there because they needed it. '_Just like I do_,' she thought. She put 'Having Meaningful Interactions with Others' on her mental to-do list and went to bed.

**(A/N: So what did you think? Good, bad or ugly? I was talking to my friend from my old school today and I showed her a snippet from my original fiction and she said she'd 'read better written by 7 yr olds.' I personally think that work is better than this. So, is she telling the truth or just being sarcastic (I never could tell with her)? **

**Also, I found it really heard saying that Lily's Patronus was a butterfly. It makes me sound a though I want her to be a Mary-Sue. If you want to know the reason tell me and I'll post it either at the end of the next chapter or on my Live Journal ('wwcotherguy'). It'll also help if you want to know the origins of the title name. **

**This is probably a good time to tell you that there will be slash in later chapters (way later) if that's not your thing and that this story will end at the end of their 7th year but I hope to write a sequel 'A Butterfly's Flight' to chronicle the rest of her life.)**


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